anticipation

[image: cards on the fence at the YMCA. Can't get over how beautiful these were]

I’m awake in the hotel room before the alarm goes off, my stomach slightly tight, stretching over the little flip-flops going on inside. My roommates are awake too, reading the paper, taking a shower. Getting ready for the day. I am… nervous? I feel like it’s the day of the big field trip that I’ve been looking forward to for so long.

That surprises me, a little.  We are here for a conference that I come to almost every year; you would think it would be old hat. For the last few weeks I’ve been busy getting ready for a big celebration at my church.  I haven’t had much time to even think about this trip. And then, suddenly, I’m here. We drove up yesterday, two friends with me, a long road punctuated with occasional conversation.  These are the kind of friends it’s okay to be quiet with.

Today I will hear teachers I’ve listened to for many years, and ones brand new to me.  I will experience art.  I will come into an experience like the ones I help to create weekly and I won’t be responsible for overseeing any of it.  I will be surprised, because I don’t have the plan in front of me ahead of time.  I will be amazed, and awed, and grateful.

I will sit in a room with other people who do what I do, who speak my language. I will be reminded that I am not the only one, that I am not crazy for trying to create.  That art is powerful and real and life changing and worth every bit of time and risk and hope and tears and love.

I can’t wait.